Isabella

Our first picture together

The year was 2010. A cat was given to me as a birthday present. Her given name was Trixie. I went back and forth over a few names until my sister helped me name her, Isabella. Although, we hardly ever called her that. I was living on my own in Auburn and mom thought I needed a roommate. Jogging my memory by looking at photos, we went on our first road trip shortly after- like the next week. I loaded up the car and up to North Carolina we went to visit family. She sat on my shoulder like a pirate's parrot.

We moved back to Cullman a few months later. We moved in with my dad and two brothers. She would sleep with me under the covers. I started working night shift. One of my brothers in particular would feed her every time she made a noise. She somehow escaped from her coller that had a bell on it and never wore one again.

I met my now husband and shortly after that we were moving again into a house of our own, about an hour away. The house had stairs- weee! She had this plush little toy (that you put catnip in) shaped like a mouse. She loved batting it up in the air. Well, I'll never forget the time she batted it into my husband's water cup on the nightstand without anyone noticing. Well, that is, until he went to take a drink. Lol

He was her favorite. She doesn't like pictures being taken of her. We did Yoga with Adriene (and Benji) together. The vet said she was overweight and was put on diet food. We bought a lazer pointer to get her to be more active. If a dresser drawer is left open for exploration, she will. She doesn't like the sound of plastic bags. One night she somehow escaped the house without anyone knowing. It rained that night and one of our neighbors had a boxer. After calling for her all night and morning, right before my husband left for work he called one last time and she came.

After four years of living there, we moved to Arkansas. She doesn't like traveling as much now. We were instructed by the vet to give her some children's Benadryl for the long trip ahead. Well, that didn't go so well. She threw up the medicine all over the car and my husband. We lived in a rental for a year, then moved out to the country. She loved watching birds and wildlife. My husband worked from home and I was gone a lot for work and going back to Alabama to visit family. She made the trip with us every Christmas. We stayed at my mother-in-law's house, who had two other cats and a dog. Isabella was not a fan of being friendly.

She likes to lay on plastic bags now. After five years of living in Arkansas, we moved back to Alabama. But it was when the housing market was crazy so we moved into a camper down by the river for a year before we finally found a house. She loved all the new room to roam around. She loved rubbing on our shoes after we took them off. There is a sliding glass door that overlooks the back yard. She gets to lay in her bed and watch squirrels, chipmunks, and birds. Some even come up the stairs to visit her. The house was/is a fixer upper. But fast forward to March of 2024- we had remodeled three rooms and had carpet installed.

From when we were living with dad and brothers- she fell asleep in my arms

Fast forward the the night of Friday May 3rd 2024. She threw up quite a bit, mostly liquid, around 10 p.m. Then again, around 3 a.m. Of course it's the weekend. After searching the internet, my husband suspected a bowel obstruction. I had listened to a few podcasts and just knew it was something bad. I call “the best vet in the county” Monday morning and have an appointment for that afternoon. Her weight was 9.05 pounds and the vet said that's a good weight for her- but to us, she looks like she's wasting away. After some blood work and explaining her symptoms to the vet, we were told it was probably acid reflux, kitty IBS, and a slight infection. Likely not a bowel obstruction based on blood work. She was given a few shots and we went home. After we were home a few hours she acted like she was feeling much better. The next day came and she was back sickly again. We waited another day for the antibiotics to kick in but when she still wasn't better by Thursday, we rang the vet again and were given a transdermal steroid to apply. “Maybe the IBS was worse than he had thought,” the vet said. He didn't seem concerned that she had gone three days without a #2. “If she's not eating much, there's not going to be much coming out,” the vet said. When asked again about the possibility of a bowel obstruction, he would to an x-ray “to ease my husband's mind” but was not likely because cats tend to stand a lot when that is the issue. It's a good thing we didn't wait another day to call because he was going to a conference the next day and was actually leaving a little early that day. The next Monday rolls around and she's still not better. I took her back to the vet Tuesday for more bloodwork to see if we need to change the antibiotics. She lost 0.97 pound since her last visit. It showed her white blood count was still elevated. More antibiotics were given by mouth and injection. The vet still wasn't concerned that she has now gone 7 days without a #2. I requested an x-ray. “Well I'm glad you insisted on an x-ray,” the vet said. It showed her bowels were twisted and there was presumably a part of her colon that had tunneled in on itself and was pushing on her bladder. Exploratory surgery was set up for the next morning. She got a lot of belly rubs in and all in all had a really good night. She woke me up around 5:13 the next morning, we watched the sunrise, and had our normal morning routine. I drove her to the vet, my husband following behind because he was going to work after- assuming the surgery was going to cost thousands and he's the sole provider of our family at the moment. I sillily assumed she was the only surgery case of the morning so I was caught off guard when we were told they didn't know exactly when her surgery would be. I took notice of a picture I hadn't seen before, a dog with wings. We also found out that she would be kept for at least 24 hours after the surgery. Again, common sense would know this but I was beyond common sense at this point and hadn't been told until I asked. Husband left for work and I went to go run some errands. It was maybe 30 minutes later, I was sitting in the parking lot at Aldi waiting for them to open, when I get a call from the vet's office. I answer, it's the vet himself. “Inoperable tumor” and “I can wake her up so you can spend time with her or I can just go ahead and do it while she's asleep” is basically all I remember from the conversation. I immediately call my husband to report to him what I was just told. My husband went up to the vet, was shown a picture of the tumor, and was told it had wrapped around the main blood supply to her organs and had pinched off her colon. After she “crossed the rainbow bridge” my husband brought her home. We felt lost and didn't know what to do. So, naturally we cleaned the house- we had water bowls in a couple of different places for her. That didn't last long, so we went out to the garden. A butterfly kept landing on us and stayed with us until we went back inside. Right after we had buried her, a hawk flew directly over us. The next few weeks I would think I felt her on my lower leg, I would think I heard her walking down the hallway, I would think I felt her in the bed, and I would go look for her in her bed every morning.

Looking back, there were probably signs that her time was coming to an end here on Earth but I think I was in denial so I couldn't see them. I don't really believe in coincidences and hindsight is 20/20, right?

- There was a black cat under our front porch stairs the week before she passed.

- She was laying in her bed on the couch one night, shortly before she “got sick”, and she shook her head really weird. I silently said a prayer that I wasn't ready to lose her yet.

-The month prior, I heard someone had to put their pet down due to an illness and I heard a beautiful story of someone talking about their cat's last moments being spent outside under their favorite tree listening to the birds chirp.

-A few months prior, one of my grannies asked me what I was going to do once Isabella was gone. My answer then is the same now, I don’t know.

With all the changes she saw, two things never changed. She was always curious and her fur was as soft as a bunny.

It's now been a month without her and the house is still too quiet, I still look at where her bed was by the sliding glass door when I'm cooking, I still look around my feet to make sure I don't step on her when I'm in the kitchen, I still wait for her to come running when I cook chicken. When I make a loud noise, I look to see if it startled her as much as it did me.

My heart will forever be different because of her.

I am hers and she is mine, until the end of time.

I believe I will see her again one day and I can't wait. But knowing that I will see her again doesn't mean that I'm not sad and it doesn't make the grieving any easier. If you read the whole story, I hope you can see, she was my daughter. That may sound a little silly, obviously I didn't birth her. But if someone adopted a baby and raised them to the teenage years, you wouldn't say anything about them not being their daughter. So we didn't just lose a cat or a pet, we lost our one and only daughter seemingly unexpected.

I told very few people about the loss. I just couldn’t talk much about it without crying. In fact, I cried pretty much every day for a month, and still do occasionally. The condolences I received were touching. Many people told me they were sorry and my husband and I gave her the best life by treating her like a princess. Two specific things I received are below:

“ 'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.”
(In Memoriam A. H. H., 27.13-17) Lord Alfred Tennyson